I completely stole this article from Greg Habstritt at www.simpleweath.com. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Greg and working with him. I follow him because he walks the talk and has been extremely successful AND I agree with the way he thinks. Greg wrote this for business, but you’ll see my additions/edits and see how it applies exactly the same way for relationships.
Accountability Sucks – And Creates Results
It’s become a fascinating trend that I’ve seen over and over, after training and coaching thousands of entrepreneurs, business owners and investors.
But this doesn’t just apply to those who have businesses – it actually holds true for the entire population, regardless of occupation or whether they’re self-employed or not [regardless of whether you’re single, divorced, widowed or in an unhappy relationship].
Those who take responsibility for their outcomes do exponentially better.
They make a LOT more money [they are much happier, have great relationships], they have less anxiety and frustration, and they create massive momentum.
They enjoy their business a lot more, and seem to have less problems in their relationships with customers, employees, contractors and other key people. [They enjoy their lives a lot more, are much more successful at dating and ultimately have happy, healthy relationships.]
But here’s the challenge – most people are unwilling to be accountable for their results.
One of the core issues in today’s world is that the vast majority of people avoid taking responsibility for their own outcomes. The attitude of entitlement is alive and well, and unfortunately keeps most people wallowing in failure and a lack of results.
I’ve noticed the “entitlement mentality” becoming even more obvious around the world. It’s a sickness – a disease that threatens the future of abundance and productivity [dating and relationships].
Look at the rioting in areas of Europe – at the core, it’s an entitlement mentality that says “I don’t want to pay more taxes – I want to keep getting services, and maintain a low productivity, and I’m not willing to play a role in the solution”. [“I don’t want to have to work at dating and relationships – I want Mr. or Ms. Right to just knock on my door, and I’m not willing to play an active role in finding a partner.”]
Of course, the government’s had a role to play in where things are, but the ONLY solution is to increase taxes and cut services. And people react as though it’s some kind of right they have to get something for nothing [to have Mr. or Ms. Perfect, when they’re not that themselves].
Frankly, it’s sickening to me, and I’m so grateful that I am the captain of my own ship, and do not rely on anyone to feed or employ me [and don’t rely on other people and outside things to make me happy]…
I know some people will disagree with me, but the edges of our social fabric [and our relationships] are being frayed right now by this poisonous thinking.
It’s Easier To Be a Victim
Than Be Accountable
Accountability is the simple act of being responsible for whatever happens to you — good or bad. The challenge is that most people would rather choose NOT to be accountable, and instead place blame, justify and rationalize why they’re not getting what they want in life.
Quite frankly, it’s easier to wander through life and not take responsibility for what happens to you.
It’s the economy. It’s my spouse. It’s the weather. It’s the politicians.
This is the position most people take, including many entrepreneurs [and people looking for relationships]. In today’s world, it’s pretty easy to blame the “bad economy” [your ex, lack of integrity in online dating, lack of “good men”] for a lot of the problems business owners [singles] are facing.
And yes, the economy is [all of these things are] certainly a variable that has an affect.
But the moment you start allowing “the economy” [lack of good men, horrible online dating, etc.] to be the reason for your business not growing or struggling [or to be the reason why you’re still single], you’re on the path to failure.
And the reason is that once you accept that the cause is external to you, control of your destiny is now out of your hands.
And that’s another way of saying victim.
Because you’re accountable, or a victim. You can’t be both.
I’ve never met a successful entrepreneur [a person with a great relationship] who’s a victim. They claim responsibility for what happens to them at every level…
I have the fortune of working with a lot of single men and woman in my dating service, Perfect Partners, many of whom have been successful at finding their perfect partner, despite having been through a divorce, or having lost a spouse, etc. They are thriving, in wonderful relationships, despite all of the “odds against them”.
I’ve now been in a wonderful relationship with my husband for 8 years, after I went through a divorce in my early 40’s. It didn’t happen until I woke up and stopped being a victum.
None of us are in these relationships now because we’re any younger, better, or more beautiful — it’s because we have been willing to take responsibility for our outcomes. That forces us to make different decisions. It allows us to impact what happens in our lives and relationships.
Like most single people, we’ve had to adjust our expectations in what Mr. or Ms Right is going to look like, be and do. And we’ve had to change what we are doing in terms of dating. It’s not easy. It’s a hassle. It’s a pain in the ass, and takes work.
And it WORKS. Really well.
What’s the alternative?
Blaming the your ex, online dating, the lack of good men/women?
Let me know how that works out for you.
How To Become Accountable
For Your Outcomes
If you’re sold on the idea that you MUST take responsibility for the results you get, the next question should be, “what’s the best way to do this?”
In my experience, most people struggle to hold themselves accountable. They want to be accountable, but it’s very difficult to be your own guardian.
The other major problem is that most people don’t get clear on what results they’re actually trying to achieve to begin with — and therefore never really know if they’ve achieved the results they’re after.
So here are the 2 critical elements you need to ensure you remain accountable:
- Set Clear Goals And a Vision of Exactly What You Intend To Achieve
- Have An External System To Hold You Accountable To Those Outcomes
It’s simply a matter of being VERY clear what you intend to create, and then don’t just try to hold yourself accountable.
Find a good system that gives you the outside accountability you need. That can include a mastermind group [a dating service or a coach] that you have to report to, or could even be as simple as an “accountability partner” that you commit to, and follow up with…
Whatever the case, you MUST have external help to remain accountable.
Make this one commitment – that you are going to be 100% accountable for your outcomes – and watch your business [your relationships], and your life, transform.
Please let me know what you think below, as I’d love to hear your comments!
